Dramatically Different

Finding the right skincare routine for your face is without a doubt a trial and error journey. It goes as follows:

Stage 1: You worship the cucumber, with a daily religious ritual – you stick thin slices of cucumber all over your face, looking like Kermit the Frog sick with measles. Negative side effect: in case the aliens kidnap you they will immediately release you, so there goes your chance to finally escape your 9 to 5 job. Positive side effect: None.

Stage 2: You start high-fiving the snail to get its slime on your cheek bones –  c’mon buddy, we can work together! And he goes: sorry, ma’am, I retired from adult entertainment a long time ago.

Stage 3: You go: ok, fuck it, I’ll take that vampire face lift!

And that’s all there is.

However, along these milestones, you will also spend shitloads of money on creams that Brigitte Bardot used her entire life and look at her now! 

But you still want to give it a try – you reckon Brigitte must have rubbed the creams counterclockwise – so that explains it all. 

So I did it! I bought a cream, a magic potion, surnamed Dramatically Different Moisturizer. 

Dramatically different..hm, yes, it sounds good and intense. You can’t go wrong with that. Let’s look at the ingredients: a major one is.. petroleum! And the list is immediately followed by the warning: after application of the cream, keep out of fire!!

What?!

Oh, I think I get it now: this cream is indeed dramatically different. You put it on your face and you expect to play in a romantic comedy, but instead, you light a cigarette next to your face and bam! you’re suddenly starring in a documentary about autodafé. 

Those are very different dramatic genres, I agree.