When everything else fails, the only thing that will always save your butt is a.. suppository.

That’s why I think humanity should erect a monument to worship the deep work of THE SUPPOSITORY.

What should it look like?

Hm, yeah, that’s a good question!

Well, we can take an oversized suppository and place it on a pedestal, at the Louvre, right next to Mona Lisa. We surround it with a gold ribbon and then write in big blinking neon letters on top of it:

Why are you staring at me? I am not Mona Lisa, I am just a suppository!

And you are suppos..ed to focus on Mona Lisa right now and on her suppos..edly mysterious smile.

Listen, if you want to finally know the whole truth behind this Mona Lisa mystification, I am your key.

Go ahead, take a closer look at her! What do you notice? That look on her face ..It’s exactly the look on YOUR face making polite conversation and smiling when meeting your in-laws but secretly thinking: I would kill for a laxative.

That’s right: Mona Lisa was constipated.

And this is not just a presuppos..ition.

This stuff is backed by science:

According to a PhD researcher called Suppiluliuma, if Mona Lisa had a suppository she wouldn’t be putting on that “I haven’t taken a shit in a week although I’ve tried everything” type of smile. For more accuracy, her portrait should be in the medical textbooks, under Instructions For Waiting In The Queue For An Enema.

But let’s not get too anal about it!

Still here? Let me guess: you’ve just come up with a personal suppos.ition.